As expected, Apple’s new wunderkind, the iPad, is taking the tech world by storm…however it is not without it’s detractors. In fact, the very power and savagery of apple’s hype machine is starting to put people off about the first of the coming wave of Tablet PCs.
In response to the endless amount of press about the iPad, Billy Kimball at The New Yorker decided to publish the following list of The Least Common Complaints About the iPad…and it was simply too rich not to repost here.
· Too salty.
· Time-travel app does not automatically adjust for Julian calendar.
· When used as tanning bed, battery life is limited.
· Not rhino-proof.
· Salesperson in Apple Store not wearing ironic “jazzman” hat.
· Not available in soothing Harvest Gold color.
· Strange odor coming from husband while using iPad.
· For $499, I was expecting a few more sequins.
· No USB port for whatever it is that they do.
· The iBookstore ichthyology section includes almost nothing on lampreys.
· When used as murder weapon, oleophobic coating does not completely eliminate incriminating fingerprints.
· Copying document files requires installation of forty-dollar iCarbonCopy app.
· Virtual cupholder does not actually hold cups.
· Unwilling to buy anything from Apple ever since Steve Jobs killed my parents.
· Insufficient media coverage.
· Original iPad was good enough for Grandpa and it’s good enough for me.
· Upscaling makes porn unexpectedly upsetting.
· After owning a Kindle for three weeks, I have become deeply loyal to the brand.
· The virtual keyboard is too %&@#! hard to use.
· New York Herald Tribune not available online anyway.