Leasing Women for Charity


Time certainly flies online, and it seems to fly a bit faster in Second Life then it does elsewhere…assuming of course a runaway freight train flies. Therefore, the Relay for Life is upon us once again.

Under the earnest guidance of Dame Lapin Paris, last year’s Caledon RFL effort exceeded 1 Million Linden, and this years effort headed by new Captain Erasmus Margulis, is aiming to raise 3 Million for the American Cancer Society. That effort is starting with a very interesting event (coordinated by Miss Autopilotpatty Poppy) on March 22, from 2 pm to 5 pm SLT in the Sim Amiaguas Mauritius, in which some of the most beautiful women of Caledon show you EXACTLY what money can buy.

Before I look more closely at this specific event, I wish to consider the Relay for Life overall for a moment. Certainly I was one of the most strident and public voices decrying certain aspects of RFL last year, and many of my own pet peeves are already being voiced by others this year, that is the sheer length of time from the kick off to the actual relay, and the fact that though Americans are a minority in SL, RFL funds go to the American Cancer Fund only.

Having given careful thought to those two serious problems with the current RFL arrangement, I feel the need to remind my fellow Caledonians that these flaws are the work of the SLRFL leadership and were certainly not under the control of the Caledon Team Captain, be they Miss Paris or Mr. Margulis. I realize that to most of us, Caledon looms very large on the map of Second Life, but really we are but a small part of the grid wide RFL effort. The Caledon RFL team does not set the rules, they simply play by them, and deserve the support of every Caledonian.

Regarding the length of the campaign, yes, I am one of those who can find it quite endless. It is very easy to become cynical and surly about it all by the end, god knows I did at the final stages of both the 2006 and 2007 relays. This year, I have resolved to pace myself…to allow myself to only be involved in those events that interest me and saving much of my own effort until the end, so as not to wear to heavily on my few remaining nerves. There are so MANY RFL events, over such a long period, it is very easy to overload on the entire matter unless you take precautions.

As for the some what parochial nature of this effort, I remind you that though the funds go to the American Cancer Fund, it is not like the cash raised pay for medical costs of American cancer patients only, or trips to Disney World for beleaguered Yankee youngsters. The money raised goes primarily to research, research which benefits all the world, not just a single nation. What we are buying with our donations is not medicine, or a doctor’s time, but knowledge…and knowledge is universal, no matter what nationalistic tags some may try to hang on it. That fact, and that fact alone, may well be why our sad little planet has survived this long, and I will put my trust in that.

The event on March 22nd is an auction, not of objects, or limited edition garments, but of women. Yes gentlemen, you chance has finally come to just put your money on the table and claim the lady of your choice for the evening, with out all that wooing and polite chit chat normally required. All you need is coin of the realm and a gleam in your roving eye. Of course, how you spend that evening is up to you and the lady in question, but Mr Margulis and Miss Poppy wished me to remind you all, bidders and biddees alike, that they will be accompanying each auctioned “date” at least in spirit as chaperones, so NO FUNNY BUSINESS. Of course, feel free to ignore that, but just remember that I said it.

A long list of some of the finest ladies of Caledon have volunteered to have an evening of their time and kind attention auctioned off to the highest bidder, with all proceeds going to RFL. These ladies include:

Autopilotpatty Poppy
Bryndal Ellison
Carricre Wind
Eladrienne Laval
Eugenia Burton
Eva Bellambi
Frequency Picnic
Fuschia Begonia
June Wozniak
Kay Robbiani
Kiralette Kelley
MaeraLeFey Messmer
Martini Discovolante
Samantha Glume
Scotti Lyle
Shylah Garmes

The ladies on the block, in order to assist inexperienced or nervous gentleman callers, have each prepared certain “suggestions” as to what sort of evenings their casual swains might expect (stop that, get your minds out of the gutter, you’ll soil the curtains I have hung there…).

Some of my favorites include the following….

Suggested by Miss Bryndal Ellison: Taking a walk on the wild side – visiting some of the seedier, but imminently intriguing sims in SL (in Native or Victorian Garb).

Suggested by Miss Eladrienne Laval: Have a E.Laval Haberdasher waistcoat named after you. Not only do you get to model it and have it as a gift, but it will be offered as E.Laval’s RFL donation item.

Suggested by Miss kiralette Kelley: Dancing at a jazz club (or club of your choice if you’re not a big fan of jazz), complete with my witty repartee and the ability to watch my tail swish through an evening dress.

Suggested by Miss Eva Bellambi: Tour Celtic pubs across the Metaverse with the Duchess, a renowned distiller of whiskey. Spend a couple of hours enjoying dancing, drinks, and conversation with Eva.

Suggested by Miss Samantha Glume: Explore throughout the Grendal’s Children sims, the Apollo Gardens, the Privateer space sim (truly amazing), to find the hidden secrets that they contain.

..and of course, all purchased dates also come with the ever-popular option, “The winner may suggest something…”

I am sure this will be an evening to remember for many people, and a fine start to the RFL season.


Miss Fuschia Begonia (above), apparently offering you a date with both her AND her piggies.


Miss kiralette Kelley (above), in a locale that does not do her justice, for all it’s beauty.


Miss Martini Discovalante (above), a vision in emerald and diamonds.


Miss Carricre Wind (above) of New Toulouse. Cherchez la femme, indeed.


Miss Eva Bellambi Duchess of Loch Avie (above), offering wine, woman and song.


  1. This event should really be a lot of fun- we’re looking forward to a lot of dancing, a lot of laughter, and hopefully a lot of money raised for the RFL. I know I for one am very excited about it!

  2. My Lord Bardhaven,

    Thank you for a wonderful exploration of the weekends choice bits of cheesecake!

    I do strongly encourage you and your wise readers to pace yourselves, pick and choose those events which generate interest and have a good time.

    Also, this year, 20% of all donations received go towards internation efforts so they are not restricted to the Americas.


  3. Thank you for your superb article on the Ladies Auction – or “Cheesecake” as some have referred to it — and I do love cheesecake.
    I was especially pleased that you took the time to explore some of the aspects we’ve all heard mentioned of RFL. Beyond that is the fun and excitement that so many people work so diligently on to bring to Caledon citizens and visitors.

    Ladies and Gentlemen, Team Caledon hopes you will attend this very fun event – enjoy the live DJ music of Marcus Tairov, CIB Radio, who has selected music by the Beach Boys, Jan and Dean and a whole list of 50’s and 60’s artists for your dancing and frivolity pleasures on Amiaguas Mauritius sim this Saturday at 2pm.

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