Journey to…the Mysterious Island – BardHaven’s Story Part 4


They were well hidden along the treeline, gathered in small groups and staring down at the white sand beach from the hilltops. The great ship was odd enough when they first saw it’s massive masts in the distance. However, then it was just an amusing curiosity…much like when Lawrence sneezed during elevenses and sucked an entire papaya through his nose. Now, for that same ship to suddenly ram the shore with a hideous snapping noise and start spitting things onto the beach…well that had required sending for their Chief.

He stood there in brooding silence, watching the overdressed chimps down on the sand unloading strange toys from the ship while they maneuvered around one another. Several females were there, seeming to alternate back and forth between trying to get the males to mate with them, and trying to get the males to leave them alone. One of the males only played with a big blue box while an angel held an umbrella over his head. Another, younger male kept bringing drinks to a flame haired child and staring longingly into the jungle as if he were desperate to go explore. The third male had stretched out on a piece of driftwood and apparently gone to sleep while the others labored, wrapped in a black fur cloak…but something about him seemed watchful or just neurotic. Meanwhile, the Chief knew that in the distance the Fuzzysporkhoppyhoppy hungered as well. Time was short.

Finally, Chief Templeton of the Itchysporkchowchow turned away from the beach and looked at his warriors gravely.

“Go tell Giuseppe to fire up the hibachis. Dinner has been delivered.”

Continue reading

We Are In Death




Death, and more importantly, the views of, society, culture, science and religion towards death has always fascinated me. It made me a very unusual child, and led to a lifelong interest in history as well as decidedly Gothic tendencies.

Death has held a primacy of interest for all of human culture since we first realized that all that lives must die. How could we hope to fully understand life without coming to grips with the question of death in all it’s myriad forms, as individuals and as a culture? This is no less true for us today then it was for our Victorian ancestors, surrounded by the newly created urban environment which was like a greenhouse for death and dying.

Continue reading

Negligence by Contract


Some days I come across news stories that I simply must share with you, my gentle readers, if for no other reason then to give me an opportunity to vent outrage and pontificate.

As a parent, the announcement of the upcoming “reality show” Kid Nation, in which a group of children are placed in a remote location to fend for themselves, a’la Lord of the Flies with TV cameras, filled me with a great deal of trepidation. The world, in my opinion, tends to hold modern children up to a double standard. The grown up world expects them to behave, spend, consume and be entertained like short adults while giving lip service to this Ozzie and Harriet fantasy of “innocent and carefree childhood days”. Adults are taught it is alright to lust after teen age nymphets as sexual paragons on TV and in commercials, as long as they look but don’t touch. This show felt to me like it would be a perfect example of these two conflicting urges causing a train wreck.

I was right.

Continue reading