Victoria City Stories


The following exchange was overheard by the curious at the Victoria City Hub late one night soon after the Kaiserin’s departure from Caledon. The participants were Lt. Col Zealot Benmergui, Baron of BardHaven, along with Captain Nux Chaplin of the Caledon Militia and Mr. Dominic Benelli.

It has been reported by eyewitnesses and this transcript produced due to certain dark indications and clues from the Baron of what events may be coming in the days ahead…and to show the mood on the streets of Caledon.

[23:06] Nux Chaplin: Ah Baron Benmergui

[23:06] Nux Chaplin: Glad I found you

[23:06] Zealot Benmergui: Good day Mr. Chaplin

[23:06] Nux Chaplin: A citizen just reported that the doors to BardHaven were left open and unlocked

[23:07] Nux Chaplin: Wouldn’t want anything to accidentally wander out– I mean in

[23:07] Zealot Benmergui: We do forget that on occasion, but I will make sure it is not problematic..usually the razor sharp pendulums encourage trespassers to mind their manners

[23:08] Dominico Benelli: Not a lesson they have long to put into practice I imagine.

[23:08] Zealot Benmergui: You would be surprised, Mr. Benelli…trespassers are often quite limber

[23:08] Zealot Benmergui: Out, Mr. Chaplin?…oh, you mean the KAISERIN…she has gone on her merry way.

[23:09] Nux Chaplin: Heh, well, isn’t it fortunate. It’s almost as if it was planned that way…. and it’s a shame your cellblock really doesn’t implicate you in anything

[23:09] Nux Chaplin: After all, that sort of thing is expected…

[23:09] Zealot Benmergui: I see no reason why I should be blamed over a houseguest….

[23:09] Dominico Benelli: I wouldn’t imagine much would need to be implicated….

[23:10] Zealot Benmergui: After all, we are all men of the world…Haven’t you occasionally had a woman to your home who wished…in the interests of discretion to be seen as being there against her desires, or for innocuous purpose?

[23:10] Dominico Benelli: No.

[23:11] Zealot Benmergui: *smiles…I can see I must introduce you to some lady friends of mine, Mr. Benelli…

[23:11] Nux Chaplin: I’m afraid it never really crossed my mind, most women I court, come willingly

[23:11] Nux Chaplin: Some men must have a problem with that

[23:11] Zealot Benmergui:… and of course they come willingly, Mr. Nux…but they may not wish that fact advertised….no?

[23:12] Dominico Benelli: I can’t say that I would get on with such ladies well Baron…. I’m obviously not their sort.

[23:12] Nux Chaplin grimaces then changes the subject “So, have you any intention of retrieving her?”

[23:12] Zealot Benmergui: *smiles..None at all. She has served her purpose. The sooner she is back in the bosom of her people, the better.

[23:13] Nux Chaplin: Peh… then your damage has been done.

[23:13] Zealot Benmergui: *smiles..Exactly.

[23:14] Dominico Benelli smiles.

[23:14] Nux Chaplin: I hope nothing as terrible ever happens to you

[23:14] Nux Chaplin: When no one is looking

[23:14] Dominico Benelli: I would imagine that unlikely…. I imagine that at least one person will be looking when something terrible is done.

[23:14] Zealot Benmergui: *laughs softly…”Someone is ALWAYS looking Gentlemen..I make sure of that.

[23:16] Zealot Benmergui: Bah…it is hardly worth the trouble to get excited over foreign politics. We have so many items of interest here in Caledon. Whatever curious fate befalls the Neualtenburghers is their own problem, and brought upon themselves…no?

[23:16] Dominico Benelli: I’m far more interested in what befalls Caledon myself Sir.

[23:16] Nux Chaplin: I must know… are you satisfied… will you watch the war from your cozy couch in BardHaven via Kinescope? Has your petty kidnapping and torture really revenge Clive?

[23:16] Nux Chaplin: By the way, was Clive your brother or a pet dog, i really can’t tell?

[23:17] Zealot Benmergui: *smiles..We were closer then you could understand Sir…and my revenge for dear Clive is yet to come…but will arrive soon on those who so richly deserve it.

[23:18] Nux Chaplin: and if we lose?

[23:18] Dominico Benelli: The Nation of Caledon has lost.

[23:18] Dominico Benelli: The baron has seen to that.

[23:18] Zealot Benmergui: Oh it has nothing to do with our brave militia…It is personal Sir, and already set in motion. As unavoidable as…a plague, for instance.

[23:19] Nux Chaplin: Heh, most people find that cutting off the source of a plague is an effective remedy

[23:19] Nux Chaplin: especially if the diseased organ is merely extravagant and useless

[23:19] Zealot Benmergui: I thought you did not mean the Kaiserin harm…how barbaric of you Sir, to discuss “cutting off” a woman of such rank…and strange hair.

[23:20] Zealot Benmergui: I admit she is extravagant and useless…but I suppose she is good for their economy.

[23:20] Nux Chaplin: Hah, you are the tumor that’s infested Caledon.

[23:20] Nux Chaplin: a malignant bump on an isle in Mayfair

[23:20] Zealot Benmergui: You give me far too much credit Sir

[23:20] Nux Chaplin growls

[23:21] Dominico Benelli: You and yours disgust me, frankly.

[23:21] Dominico Benelli: That fact will not come to an end, nor will any end justify your actions.

[23:22] Zealot Benmergui: Really…I do get confused….last I had heard you wished the Kaiserin released…She has been so, no? She wasn’t even overly misshandled…save for the natural requirements of her position.

[23:22] Dominico Benelli: You sicken the nation of Caledon.

[23:22] Nux Chaplin throws his hands up in the air “Gah! He’s set it in motion, He’s useless to us. Our other traitor will squeal more than him”

[23:23] Nux Chaplin: Heh, I want to believe that you planned this, but it’s as if you orchestrated this all by accident

[23:23] You: How fortunate the nation has you to speak for it, Mr. Benelli…we are all greatly relieved. …and as for squealing, we return again to the Kaiserin..dulcet tones, I assure you…absolutely dulcet.

[23:24] Nux Chaplin: You would take pleasure in a woman’s pain…

[23:24] Dominico Benelli: I speak for the health of the Nation… and like a doctor may see that a wound once infected sickens it’s patient, so too does your presence Sicken Caledon.

[23:24] Zealot Benmergui: You keep returning to medical analogies..sickness, tumors, pain…are you feeling quite well Gentlemen?

[23:25] Zealot Benmergui: You seem to have infirmity upon your mind…an elderly mother feeling poorly, perhaps?

[23:25] Dominico Benelli: I am sick at heart, for what you have done to the unblemished Tartan… you have stained it irrevocably.

[23:26] Zealot Benmergui: No, that was Au Jus sauce…I believe by Mr. Sputnik last year…I had said to use seltzer but no one listened to me.

[23:27] Dominico Benelli: Flippancy only shows your lack of investiture into these lands. You sadden me greatly in your efforts to make light.

[23:28] Dominico Benelli: I have no remaining respect for you. Make light of that, as I’m sure you shall… but know that it is simple truth and I do not say it lightly.

[23:28] Zealot Benmergui: *smiles…Your analogies ring true however, Sir, whatever you respect…I am indeed making light, though you had not realized you had been previously in darkness.

[23:29] Dominico Benelli: The shadow your actions cast over the good name of our Country shrouds all patriots in darkness.

[23:29] Nux Chaplin: Even if we win this war, we will be marred by your actions

[23:30] Zealot Benmergui: In time, you will see otherwise…but visionaries are rarely understood immediately or in their own land. Perhaps I must go to Nineveh.

[23:30] Dominico Benelli: Forever will Caledon be the villain in the eyes of the world…forever will it’s people bear the stigma of your mania.

[23:30] Zealot Benmergui: *sighs….In the metaverse Sir, forever means till next week.

[23:31] Nux Chaplin: Heh

[23:31] Nux Chaplin: He fancies himself a visionary…

[23:31] Nux Chaplin: What is his vision?

[23:31] Nux Chaplin: Widows and orphans?

[23:32] Nux Chaplin: bombed shells of buildings?

[23:32] Nux Chaplin: Well used widows walks?

[23:32] Zealot Benmergui: Quite unlikely Sir, as I dearly hope any prim babies were destroyed in the bombing…nasty, spammy things. Not deserving to be orphans.

[23:33] Nux Chaplin: Dominic, there’s nothing I can do…

[23:33] Nux Chaplin: Not until I have the orders

[23:33] Nux Chaplin: but, that doesnt pervent me from turning a blind eye.

[23:34] Dominico Benelli smiles a bit.

[23:34] Nux Chaplin: I hope you have a thick vest to wear in dark alleys, Baron

[23:34] Dominico Benelli: I understand Captain.

[23:35] Zealot Benmergui: Now, I must be on my way as it seems we are done here…I trust you have a pleasant evening Mr. Benelli, Mr. Chaplin….and if you wish to meet any of those ladies I mentioned Mr. Benelli, do drop me a line.

[23:36] Dominico Benelli: BardHaven…..

[23:36] Zealot Benmergui: Your servant, Sir

[23:36] Dominico Benelli: The Nation of Caledon would be a better place without you.



  1. Mr Benelli certainly does wax prolific on behalf of the nation. A intriguing verbal fencing match. So the milita are assassins now? How intriguing. Things have certainly gone to pot in my absence.

  2. I’m terribly confused.

    You *did* release her, yes? One would think the Neualtenburgians would be grateful. One would think Caledon as a whole would be relieved such was accomplished without another dirigible launching fire and destruction on another innocent building!

    Hmm. The next time Mr. Chaplin comes to Steelhead, I might have to request the pleasure of a dance so I may delicately stomp upon his foot.

  3. What’s this? Kegs of rum and a torch! What luck!!
    I should be able to light a signal fire big enough for all of Neualtenburg to see!

    I’m saved!

    Wait — where’s the flint?

  4. It seems to me that some people are confusing their delicate sensibilities with the spirit of the nation (which one has been offended, really?) and mutually-agreed-upon torture (unappealing as the concept may be to some) for the real thing. Granted, it is sometimes hard to enunciate with one’s tongue in one’s cheek, but it behooves everyone to take a step back and remember that this whole intrigue is but a subplot in the overarching story of Caledon, which we write every day.

Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s