Frontal Dispatches


As I have now stepped away from continuing aggression in the slowly percolating war between Caledon and whoever they are, I feel that it may be helpful to examine some lessons we as Caledonians may be able to take away from these preliminary sorties.

Allthough the “shooting” has yet to begin I feel that much instruction can be taken from initial efforts, some to improve the current situation, others to be executed in years to come.

First of all, and this is a problem with the entire Relay For Life and not just Caledonian efforts, the entire process goes on far too long. Last year, by the time the actual Relay was run I was sick to the gills of the entire thing. People simply become exhausted by the continual build up and the accumulation of “special” RFL objects and events. The cause is worthy but people’s attention is finite so they either become distracted from it or overly identified with it.

In a discussion between myself and Mr. Edward Pearse we came to the conclusion that the war preparations have begun to suffer from the same problem…they have simply gone on too long. Such a lengthy buildup to an event which still is sometime in the future, without even a definete date or agenda can make people a bit…squirrly.

In future, it may be best to postpone the official kickoff until a couple weeks before the actual relay. Due to the intense nature of the Caledonian community I sincerly doubt that more enthusiasm or donations could be generated over three months then could be over three weeks with proper planning.

Secondly, I don’t believe anyone realized how readily Caledonians would take the concept of a war between Sims to it’s collectively heaving bosom. Not the Governor nor his advisors, and certainly not our foes. To be honest, I do not even know how many of our foes even know about the war or are involved in anyway. I know of only two thus far. This compared to the legions of fervent Caledonian patriots must be a bit daunting for our foes. To be honest, if I saw a pack of Caledonians approaching me down a dark alley, steam-powered parasols raised for battle and an enthusiastic fire behind their goggles, I may have the same reaction as the Neualtwhatevers did. Namely, I would call foul.

In addition, such elements as uniforms, orgainizations, groups and war events have taken a great deal longer I think then had been anticipated. This has led to a sort of post-declaration vacuum that many of us have rushed to fill with wild imaginings and warlike shenanigans…with mixed results.

In future wars, this civilized barbarism deep in the primal spirit of Caledon will need to be taken into account and announcements perhaps delayed until there are engines and guidelines prepared to which we can devote and tailor our zeal.

Most importantly, the wise and proper meetings with the Neuwhosiwhatsies which are now taking place SHOULD have taken place two months ago. This is not to say that anyone was at fault, simply that no one predicted the difficulties that made the meetings necessary, but thankfully they can be anticipated better in the future.

Finally, I can’t help feeling that the current war is a bad fit. The way that Caledonians have approached the conflict, in a sort of wild, giddy, unruly mob is so strikingly different from the limited, controlled, sensitive stance of our foes may be unbridgeable. While The Governor’s and Mr. O’Toole’s efforts to come up with a set of terms of engagement that our enemies will tolerate (as described HERE) is noble and selfless of them, the fact that such a thing is needed at all dampened my enthusiasm to such a degree that I am no longer moved to be involved. When elements of a role play have to be predefined to such a degree, I have found they often lose the spontaneous, improvisational nature so essential in such pastimes. Perhaps next time we could consider giving New Babbage a proper drubbing, or have a brief frontier shootemup with Steelhead? I think that would be more enjoyable not only for Caledon, but for our foes as well.

In any future efforts of this nature, I think we need to decrease the time involved, increase the preparations and coordination, and make quite sure that our goals and desires mirror those of our foes. I salute all those who have and continue to devote such a massive effort to make this event the best that it can be, and though outside the actual activities, I still fervently hope for their success.



  1. What this war needs is a mob of confused tinies rousting around and causing just as much damage to the motherland as the enemy. Fear NOT! I am on the case. Our Dear Guvnah just might find himself held hostage by a mob of tiny bunnies quite soon… this will cheer our foes no end I am certain.

  2. See, we said there should be a Tiny Spy Squad (TM) sent over there to, erm, eat schnitzel and sausages. And get under people’s feet. And plant tiny flags.

    But yes, it has all gone on a bit long ;(

  3. As long as you’re going to war, my dear friends, my employer would like Caledon to consider the purchase of a thousand or so finely crafted Robot Toy Soldiers! If Caledon doesn’t pick them up, someone else certainly will!

    *eyes glow green as she chuckles ominously*


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