…and Speaking of Hell….

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The following oh so tempting invitation has gone out to the world from the Amazing Grace Baptist Church in Canton, North Carolina (their website is currently suspended however…there’s a shock). I swear if I were in the area and had nothing to do Halloween night (improbably, I know, but still…) I would drop by, just for the food and the sex in the vestibule.

Halloween Book Burning
Burning Perversions of God’s Word
October 31, 2009

7:00 PM – Till

Great Preaching and Singing

Come to our Halloween book burning. We are burning Satan’s bibles like the NIV, RSV, NKJV, TLB, NASB, NEV, NRSV, ASV, NWT, Good News for Modern Man, The Evidence Bible, The Message Bible, The Green Bible, ect. These are perversions of God’s Word the King James Bible.

We will also be burning Satan’s music such as country , rap , rock , pop, heavy metal, western, soft and easy, southern gospel , contempory Christian , jazz, soul, oldies but goldies, etc.

We will also be burning Satan’s popular books written by heretics like Westcott & Hort , Bruce Metzger, Billy Graham , Rick Warren , Bill Hybels , John McArthur, James Dobson, Charles Swindoll , John Piper, Chuck Colson, Tony Evans, Oral Roberts, Jimmy Swagart, Mark Driskol, Franklin Graham , Bill Bright, Tim Lahaye, Paula White, T.D. Jakes, Benny Hinn , Joyce Myers, Brian McLaren, Robert Schuller, Mother Teresa , The Pope , Rob Bell, Erwin McManus, Donald Miller, Shane Claiborne, Brennan Manning, William Young, etc.

We are not burning Bibles written in other languages that are based on the TR. We are not burning the Wycliffe, Tyndale, Geneva or other translations that are based on the TR.

We will be serving Bar-b-Que Chicken, fried chicken, and all the sides.

If you have any books or music to donate, please call us for pick-up. If you like you can drop them off at our church door anytime. Thanks.

My favorite part is the fact that in the list of heretical writers, they include “The Pope”. All of them? They make it sound like a stand alone title passed down father to son, like The Phantom. “Beware…the Priest that WALLKKSSSSS…” Does he get a sharp purple Mitre with a skull on the front?

I also dig that not only are they serving both fried and BBQ chicken, but “all the sides”. You can tell when a book burning is swank because they serve both potato salad AND macaroni salad.

I would be inclined to think this is a hoax, except that the always exceptional First Things is blogging about it.

As a comment from a Rabbi Fraser states on First Things, “Think positively. They are burning books, not people.”

Amen.

Also, who knew there were so many damn bibles…

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2 Comments

  1. *jaw drops*

    Christians burning Bibles. Now I’ve heard everything.

    And oh, yes, there are a ton of different translations of the Bible, with and without apocrypha, with and without addendum translations or the addition of certain Gnostic gospels.

    In fact, my favorite is still the Reader’s Digest Condensed Version of the Bible. I think Genesis is three paragraphs. (Not kidding. They condensed the Bible for ‘easier readability’.)

  2. I’m sure both Oral Roberts and Bruce Metzger are turning in their graves at being on the same list … but why did they omit the Classic Comics version of the Bible (yes there is one!)?


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